Driven to Distraction: Is Driving for Pleasure on Borrowed Time?

The doom-mongering over the electric car has us hoodwinked, and it's very possible we are missing the government's long con.

I don't fear the EV. I don't think they are the answer to global warming - that is a whole other can of worms - but I do believe car engineers are extremely intelligent and passionate people. I trust they will crack the code which makes electric vehicles truly fun to drive, rather than outright impressive. By all accounts, the Hyundai Inoiq 5 N is already a kilowatt smile inducer and the Porsche Taycan is a wonderful way to travel. The driving fire will remain, even if it isn't an internal combustion one. I just hope they can make them affordable too.

No, in my humble opinion, the greatest enemy we car enthusiasts face is the blanket enforcement of Black Box monitoring. It's already started with the summer 2023 EU law mandating all new cars must be fitted with a GPS that restricts the car to the given speed limit. Sure, you’ll argue that the device can be overruled for up to ten seconds in emergencies or to complete a safe overtake. You’ll also argue that you’ve no intention to purchase a brand-new car so it doesn’t affect you.

What you’ve got to let sink in is speed monitoring isn’t the end game. Governments always move the goalposts. It's their standard operating procedure to introduce a minor irritation, then just as it becomes accustomed to, they turn the screw. Just look to ULEZ for an example. You aren’t thinking about the amount of fuel duty and company car BIK tax missing from the HMRC balance sheet as they incentivise going green.

Road tolls are inevitable, and what's the best way to monitor it? Via a GPS box of course! When the government introduces tax-by-mile, that is when such a device will become compulsory for all road users. At that point, the insurers rub their hands together and roll their sleeves up. Armed with all the manipulated data they can get their hands on, insure by mile will also become law - or outright refused unless retrofitted.

Imagine being charged by how many miles covered, how statistically risky the road is you drive along, what time of day you travel down it, and how many g-forces you generate in the process. Then there is the prospect of working or going for dinner in a high risk area, or visiting a relative and leaving the car on the street, all being tracked and calculated by an algorithm. Everything will be totted up and conveniently debited directly out of your account every month. Penalties, points and bans will come not from flashing blue lights, but filtered by some AI algorithm manufactured by Cyberdyne Systems.

Is this a tin foil hat conspiracy theory? Or is the writing on the wall? Why, for instance, are we seeing electronic tampering laws being introduced if not to lay the foundation? The fears about the goal of making modifying a car illegal are unfounded - the government's simple aim is to outlaw circumvention or cheat devices that override the GPS monitor. Of course, this will still mean a death by one thousand cuts to the multi-billion pound aftermarket industry, or much worse, drive it underground and under the influence of criminals.

Inevitably, this will also lead to further cuts in professional Road Traffic Policing, even though it would allow forces to concentrate their resources on more serious car crimes. Nationwide traffic divisions are already feeling the strain, having had their numbers drastically cut by over 50% across the last decade, alongside losing highly experienced officers. Governments love nothing more than the double win of increasing revenue whilst slashing budgets.