According to a report, Lotus has suspended production of the Emira at their Hethel factory. After years of uncertainty, a takeover by Geely brought new investment, and new models around their core of low-volume sports cars. Die-hard fans of the brand were angered at the introduction of five-seaters bearing the Lotus name, believing that a Lotus isn’t a Lotus if it has more than two doors. This is in spite of the historic Lotus Carlton having four doors, and a Vauxhall badge on the nose.

Now, the sports car production line in Norfolk lays dormant. This news has come out of the blue, and is in complete contradiction to the recent announcement of a new model year for the Emira, with two 400bhp variants - the Turbo SE, and the V6. Regardless, this means that the brand now exclusively manufactures electric cars, with the Eletre SUV and Emeya saloon continuing to be built in Wuhan, China.

Most shockingly, Lotus isn’t the only manufacturer whose production lines have ground to a halt. Even motoring behemoth Ford has experienced a pause at their Valencia plant, with the flow of the Kuga assembly line being interrupted on a surprisingly regular basis. In a statement, Ford Spokesman Fernando Ord-Fiesta told us: “Yes, it is true that production of the ever-popular Kuga has been suspended. However, it will restart again in an hour once the 12-1pm lunch break finishes.”

Mr F. Ord-Fiesta continued: “There is nothing to be alarmed about; temporary pauses in production happen all the time. Our staff need to eat.” 

Similarly, Toyota experiences regular suspensions of production of the Corolla hatchback at its plant in Burnaston, Derbyshire. While it may appear to the untrained eye that such a revelation would be grounds for an earth-shattering story, Toyota spokesman Harold-Ivan Lux told us that: “Like our friends at Ford, we experience an interruption of production at least twice a day.”

When pressed for clarification, Mr H.I. Lux said: “The production lines slow to a gentle halt for lunch, and they stop once more at the end of the day. When specification changes, or when a new model comes online, we have to retool the factory which results in another manufacturing pause, but these things are completely normal and nothing to write home, or indeed an article about. It happens on every production line, regardless of manufacturer.”

Having been reassured of the normality of shift patterns, model modifications, and more by both spokesmen, I returned to the article that sent a shiver down my spine as I envisaged a world without a new Lotus that I would consider buying before getting another 911. 

Upon second reading, and moving past the quite clearly clickbait headline, it’s clear that the move is only temporary, and coincides with the latest model year of Emira being introduced, and approved for sale in the US market; production will resume shortly. The petrol-powered sports car remains on sale, and will do so for the foreseeable future, even if it’s a slow news day.

Upon receipt of Phil’s article, we fact-checked his findings. There was a story published which claimed that Lotus Emira production had been suspended, and it did indeed admit that it would be a temporary measure, so for once Phil got something right. A follow-up article by the same publisher has confirmed that Lotus staff have returned to work. However, the spokespeople quoted are entirely fictitious, and this article is quite clearly satire, therefore, it should mostly be regarded as utter bollocks.