E60 M5 Review - Never Before, Never Again

It’s not as celebrated as earlier M5s, nor does it offer the outright performance of the later cars. It has many technological firsts all of which date it to a period of time where the tech wasn’t yet at its best. Running costs are high and spare parts are starting to become scarce. It’s finickity, costly and showing its age. None of that matters though; this car is an absolute delight and somewhat of an underdog in M5 heritage.

The E60 M5 is a car that the world will never see again. The decision to fit a V10 to an executive saloon was motivated by BMW's involvement with the Williams Formula One team. Unlike previous M cars where a regular production engine was sprinkled with a little ///Magic the E60 received something entirely different - the M division’s very first clean sheet design engine.

In essence you take some F1 knowhow, a lump of lightweight materials and a liberal view to economy and CO2 figures and you get the S85. 5.0 litres, 8250rpm and 507hp, but before we get there I can't help but pause to admire the E60 platform.

The outside doesn’t look hugely different from a regular 5 series but you can see the subtle styling tweaks that hint at what this car might be. In the modern world where M cars are slap you round the face styled, the E60 maintains the wolf in sheep's clothing mantra of earlier M5s. Bangle styling might not be for everyone, but it very much does it for me. Those 4 exhausts and rear three-quarter view is something to behold, a beautifully boiled Bratwurst of Bavarian Brilliance.

Inside, the cabin is a true representation of the BMW of old. High end materials, sports seats as epically comfortable as they are supportive and a proper steering wheel that isn’t designed for an orangutan to grip. You could spend hours in here and not once would you have an ache, pain or a searing sense of rage when you can’t find the volume control.

Enough eulogising about interiors though, it's time to drive.

Being from the pre touch screen, proper buttons, and analogue dial era it really makes you miss what we used to have. The BMW i-drive, a bone of contention when introduced, is a doddle to operate - not once did I need a huge screen, haptic buttons or a holder for my knackers.

From the off the S85 is quick to respond to throttle inputs and has genuine low down grunt - contrary to every keyboard road tester’s opinion on the internet. The mid range is more of the same but I can start to sense the upcoming crescendo. By 6,500rpm I’m riding a wave of harmonic delight that combines a razor sharp timbre with a creamy undertone.

Chase that to the 8250rpm redline and my god I can’t write what I’m thinking without being locked up or cancelled. You’ll need a cigarette afterwards is all I’ll say.

507hp might sound weedy in the modern turbo-hybrid era but in this car you don’t need any more, not once are you left wanting for more. The way the E60 M5 makes its power is genuinely exciting and chasing the redline is unforgettable.

The S85 engine won’t ever be repeated and it’s a good job because the aural joy it offers is akin to a siren song. I’m already drawn to the classifieds clutching a box of rod bearings and a Shell reward card. It’s hypnotic and I’m fully under its spell; it’s a snorting angry German warthog reined in by a slightly surly semi-automated manual handler.

The SMG is a curious piece of engineering: a single clutch under the control of a robot that works all the difficult bits of a manual, with the care and attention of a teenage rollercoaster operator. Most will tell you it’s jerky, uncouth and terribly outdated.

The truth is, it was at the time when the E60 was brand new and was expected to perform daily duties and demolish continents, but nowadays this car is a strict weekend toy. Spend 5 minutes learning how to work with it and you will have a gearbox which is just as satisfying to use as a manual. Yes, really.

You have to first set yourself up for success, put everything into full kill, set the shift aggression to max (80ms per change) and the gearbox to manual. Around town a small lift of throttle on upshifts will result in a shift that just glides in. When going down the gears a little blip will help slot that down change in and it’ll almost be imperceptible. Gone are the shudders and slams you’d usually get when leaving the gearbox to its own devices.

This car isn’t about shunting though, it’s about wide open throttle, so how do you play the SMG fiddle then?

It’s more of the same only your actions need to be quicker and better timed. Snap from full throttle to no throttle just as you pull the paddle (or channel your inner DTM driver and tug the lever) and the upshift hits but it doesn’t hurt. A bigger prod on downshifts and the gear will take with a flurry of revs just like a well-timed heel-and-toe in a three pedal car.

All of this might sound dreadful but it just isn’t. This engine and gearbox combo manages to create engagement and fun, you relish the opportunity to learn how best to operate it and when it all goes well it becomes endearing. Left foot braking and blipping the throttle becomes second nature and you want to treat it well because you know that it’ll treat you well. It encourages personal growth and teaches you that patience and kindness apply to all walks of life, even the 5.0 V10 ones.

Where BMW M’s Midas touch is really felt is in the character of the car. It’s enjoyable at low speeds where you flow with the chassis and can enjoy brief dances into the rev range. As you start to pick up speed you’ll feel the car hunker down and shift to a more focused attitude. Some of this comes from all the buttons and modes available, but even without those you know this car was developed by people who care.

You wouldn’t believe second gear corners can be exited at full throttle but they can. I have no doubt that with the traction off you could pull some outrageously huge slides but you don’t have to drive in such a manner for this car to come alive. 

Chassis balance is spot on, with that BMW hallmark 50:50 weight distribution. It doesn’t drive like any other BMW though; it has that M edge. This can be a little firm in its stiffest setting but that’s worth the trade-off for the body control and confidence you get. It feels like a big M3, or to some extent a really big MX-5. Much in the same way you can feel the lightness in an MX-5s steering, in the M5 you can feel its weight but don’t mistake that for heft. It’s solid and robust but with a dynamic flair.

Steering is hydraulic and that really is something that we miss. Sure this rack isn’t one of the greats, but it gives you a sense of connection. There’s smoothness to how it weights up and unweights. You have no issues in loading the front axle into a turn as it tells you exactly what is going on. By corner exit you’ll feel the weight shift rearwards, a little lightness comes to the steering letting you know that it's ok to squeeze the throttle. There’s no blurred lines here, you can just get on with it without the unknown that comes from some modern EPAS racks. 

The V10 really suits the chassis, with a smooth and linear power delivery helping you to get into a rhythm. You wouldn’t believe that 2nd gear corners can be exited at full throttle but they can. I have no doubt that with the traction off you could pull some outrageously huge slides but you don’t have to drive in that manner for this car to come alive. 

It’s not all sweetness and light however, some elements of this car do wear. Stop start traffic is not a happy place, the SMG doesn’t creep when you let off the brake so instead you push a bit of throttle and… thunk! There’s the gear and a lurch forward to go with it. Manoeuvring is a carefully balanced art of just the right amount of throttle and some patience as you jump between first and Reverse. Speedy three point turns are a no no. 

It’s also thirsty. By god can it drink; 9mpg average and chewing 50 miles of range across 10 miles of distance is a new personal record even for me. I won’t mention the well documented reliability and general running concerns, we’ve all read the pages and pages of internet forums. The reality is that if you want a 200mph V10 saloon with a motorsport derived engine you have to be willing to plunder your savings account. Paying the cost to be the boss springs to mind.

The engine alone is enough to make this one of the greats, combine that with a chassis that flatters its powertrain and a gearbox that somehow adds to the experience and you have one hell of a car. I’m a fully paid up member of the E60 M5 club and don’t you dare say the SMG is bad, you just can't drive properly. Take the time to learn this car and it will be a truly fantastic experience, it will probably go wrong at some point though, but that’s life isn’t it?